Caleb continued...

(Read the previous post first if you haven't already)

In August, I started reading a book called "How to get your child to eat, but not too much." It really stresses the need for children to self regulate their intake of food and about how unhealthy it is for adults to determine how much their child eats. I completely agree, although our "feeding plan" states otherwise. I have been worried for a long time that we've scarred C for life with our "forcing" him to eat (telling him how many bites to take/when he's done etc.) and this book reinforces that thought. However, in the past, if we didn't "force" him to eat, he wouldn't eat. (And it stinks that "force feeding" is the approach our feeding clinic uses, as I have learned since then that there are other ways to get around behavioral eating issues.)

I decided that since Caleb is at a weight where he could "afford" to lose a bit of weight(although now that he's gotten taller, he looks even skinnier to me), it was time to let him decide how much he ate...no more telling him "one more bite" no more nagging about eating, taking bites, no more feeding him, etc. (we still "load" the fork/spoon though) And I decided that I, myself, would not think about how much he was actually eating/not eating and stop worrying about weight gain. This was SO hard since "we've" worked so hard to get his weight up. I did make the rule, however, that if he didn't eat, he couldn't have a bottle or snacks until the next meal. And I told him if he wasn't hungry enough for his lunch/supper, he wasn't hungry enough for a bottle before nap/bedtime. Snacks weren't a big deal since he rarely asks for snacks, unless Isaac does.

Actually, he/we did pretty well with this new approach. Once he realized that he was in "control" he seemed to start eating better. (Better meaning taking at least a couple bites, independently, as opposed to eating nothing) It was still hit or miss many days, and I had to remind myself to "let it go" when he refused to eat or was jamming too much food into his mouth, or mashing it into the table/shredding it up. But meals seemed much less stressful for both us us. I could still tell how "programed" he is since he'd always try to barter and say "Two more bites and den I get a bottle. Okay?" I started thinking that maybe we'd found the solution. He could decide how much/what he was eating and I would stop doing calorie counts in my head. I couldn't believe that he was actually eating without us nagging him. It was short lived though, and now we're back to the same old thing...not eating, pocketing food, taking FOREVER to eat, and just plain refusing.

Caleb gained 1.2 pounds in 6 months, which I think is fantastic. He also grew 1.5 inches! The problem with this is now he's at 91% of his ideal weight for height (he was at 96% at our last appointment and they want him above 90%). The GI doc, who I personally think is an idiot, said "We really didn't expect him to get so much taller. Now he needs to catch up with his weight." Not sure what she meant by that. Joel and I are both tall! Shouldn't we be happy that he's at least growing??

His feeding team was happy with the increased variety of what he eats (no longer just noodles and hot dogs). One of their biggest concerns is his fluid intake and refusal to take vitamins. He drinks about 16 oz of fluid a day and should be drinking at least 40 oz! He's never been a great drinker, even as a baby he never drank more than 3 oz in his bottles. He usually only takes sips of drinks and is done. We are supposed to start getting rid of his bottles (he's down to 3 right now), but that's going to cause a huge issue with his fluid intake, because 9 of the 16 oz he drinks a day are from his bottles. Should be interesting!

Their new concern (which really isn't a new concern for us) is that his "reduced attention and distractability are negatively impacting his ability to focus at meals and in general tasks." He's "all over the place" most of the time. They now feel he needs "Occupational and Sensory intervention". They think this type of therapy will not only help with his eating, but also help him at home, school, and likely sleeping. Apparently they have an OT who is now part of the feeding clinic who specializes in sensory issues. We shall see I guess. He already has an appointment for Monday.

I asked if we could just see her and be discharged from the feeding clinic. I really don't see what else they can do for him. (He sees enough specialists that his weight will still be monitored.) Even though meals are still painfully frustrating, he IS eating. And since this OT also works in the general therapy department, I don't see why we can't just see her there. His GI doc (remember, the idiot?) told me that the feeding clinic is "like a continuum." Yes, he's eating so he's past that part of the clinic and now we've moved on to the "behavioral" part of it. I thought we were always part of the behavioral clinic since he was diagnosed with "behavioral feeding issues" three years ago. She isn't the one who actually diagnosed him (we had a different GI back then), so maybe she doesn't even know that. She's one who doesn't read charts. She probably doesn't know we have a behavioral therapist on his feeding team already! She said they now want him to meet more often with a psychologist since he's older now...I think she's an idiot too, so I don't think that's going to happen:) Anyway, we have to go back to the feeding clinic and meet with his entire team in 2 months (RN, dietitian, speech therapist, GI doc, behavioral psychologist, and new OT). And of course the only day these "extremely busy" professionals can meet at the same time is on the same day he already has a pulmonology appointment. A whole day at Children's...shoot me now!

Okay, on to some cuteness! Here are some pics from Friday when we went over to Lake Michigan for a picnic. (Yes, they are holding hands in the last pic!)